You Can Have Things Your Way or You Can Be Happy

Living in harmony requires you to let that shit go

Living in harmony with other people, whether your parents, your children, your partner or your friends requires a willingness to let go of the reins at times and allow others the freedom to do things without your input and control.

My husband recently read a quote to me from the book Einstein by Walter Isaacson. Isaacson said “In speaking of his friend of sixty years, Michele Besso, Einstein said Besso’s most admirable personal trait was to live in harmony with a woman.”

Isn’t it wonderful to think that your most admirable personal trait could be that you are able to live in harmony with someone?

I have had a lot to learn about living in harmony with others. I was born bossy, with a need to be in charge and keep others in line.

I have always had very specific ideas about how things should be, and I worked hard to make sure that I would get the outcome I wanted, whether it was the way the towels were folded, the way my steak was cooked or the way the furniture was arranged. It is usually the little things that become big things when we insist they be our way.

I have re-folded a whole linen closet full of towels because they were not folded ‘my way’. I have given instructions over the shoulder of others who were attempting to do something that I am very good at, explaining to them how to do it my way.

This has led to some less than optimal outcomes. Either the person walked away and said do it yourself or became angry at me for insinuating that their way was not good enough. I could not see that it did not matter. I was too focused on getting it done my way to see that I was sacrificing harmony in my relationships for a standard that was arbitrary, at best. The fall-out from my need to have things my way bled over into all my relationships.

It took a long time for me to see the futility of my attempts to control everyone…

Related posts:

All this time and you still haven’t a clue,. “Red” is published by Sarah Janice in sarahlorealwriting.

I first started journaling in 2003. I’d just deployed to Iraq. I knew then that it was going to be a life-defining experience. That was twenty years ago and I’ve never stopped. It’s been one of my…