The Memory Tree

I first started journaling in 2003. I’d just deployed to Iraq. I knew then that it was going to be a life-defining experience. That was twenty years ago and I’ve never stopped. It’s been one of my most enduring habits and the one with the most transformative impact on me and the people around me.

Today I read pages from a month ago, a year ago, twelve years ago, and I recall moments that had been wiped from my memory. I’m thankful I captured them.

Today I read about the stresses of those days, any days, the ones that made me think my world was collapsing on itself. My divorce. The hard times in my business, like that awful day I couldn’t make payroll. I was convinced we were shutting down. The time one of my employees started stealing my clients. The utter humiliation and failure of it all. The rage. Today those moments are meaningless.

They were blips. Speed bumps. Better — they paved the way for the success that came afterward. Not only did the world not collapse under the weight of those grave moments, it improved despite them, because of them.

I’m thankful that I captured those too. The perspective they give me now is immeasurable.

Today I read about the successes I’d long forgotten, and the emotional intelligence failures that led to my crushing defeats. I read about the surprise windfalls and the cognitive biases that clouded my judgment and led to bonehead business and personal decisions. I see patterns now from what seemed like total randomness back then.

I’m eternally thankful for those lessons, all but vapor but for the pen, the ink and the paper that preserved them.

For twenty years I’ve journaled first thing in the morning. A few deep-breath meditative moments, a really great cup of coffee, and then, brain spill.

The structure has gone through several seasons.

In one season, I took a page out of Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way — write whatever you’re thinking about for three pages. She called it “spiritual windshield wipers”. For me, catharsis.

In a different season, I’d start with a gratitude list. In another, a problem I’m trying to solve.

Today, I use journal prompts from my favorite thinkers.

An old proverb says the best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago; the second best time to plant a tree is today.

The same is true of journaling. Start it. Water it. Repeat. Twenty years later you’ve got yourself the most incredible oak tree, a time machine, made up entirely of memories you’d have lost forever.

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