How I Stopped Arguing With People Online

I didn’t realize how much energy and time I was wasting trying to convince someone to see something from my perspective.

To know me is to know that I love a good debate. I love trading facts. My brain lights up when someone can share a viewpoint of a situation that I may have never considered.

However, I cannot stand arguing. Nothing makes me feel more useless than to talk in circles sharing the same information with someone determined to be a brick wall to resolution.

But, years ago, I didn’t realize how much energy and time I was wasting trying to convince someone to see something from my perspective.

I could be found spending hours in comments or groups arguing with someone with a negative or contrary opinion. I mean, I was angrily typing on my phone keyboard. Googling and finding links to prove my point. My blood was boiling. My blood pressure was rising. I was completely invested in getting someone that I don’t know, will never meet and who is a complete stranger to agree with me.

Why was this important to me? I don’t know.

But, in the moment, my ego cared. My ego wanted to triumph over this person and to be proved right. It wanted the satisfaction of winning or the other person backing down. It wanted to be acknowledged and for that person to agree that I was intelligent or what I said mattered to them.

I never questioned why their opinion mattered to me.

Somehow, I was convinced that it was my job to expend mental energy trying to change the world by arguing on the internet.

Then, I started to pay attention to what was happening. Instead of jumping into outrage and every invitation to argue, I stopped engaging. It tapered off slowly leading to less and less interactions.

What I found was the same people would just find someone else to argue with and there was always someone else willing to argue.

Then, I found that the people would bring up the same issues over and over again and bait people into arguments. They literally said the exact same things every single time. There was…

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