How To Move In Together When Alone Time Is Crucial For You

Sharing your life with a partner shouldn’t mean losing your alone time.

Among our many similarities, my partner and I have in common the trait of valuing alone time. We started dating a year ago and for the last six months, we adopted a “part-time living together” system. So far, it has been working wonderfully. Our norm is to spend at least half of the week together, usually in his house.

But now we consider changing our dynamic: we’re thinking about moving in together full time.

Fully merging our lives is a big step, and we are starting to talk it through. Our moving in together plan covers several topics — we both believe it’s important to add practicality to romance.

Two issues seem to be the most significant for us: how we’ll manage the finances, and how we’re going to work on our need for alone time.

My partner works by shifts, and he works four days and rests five. I work remotely on my two jobs. This means that apart from my social events and appointments, I’m always home. It would be rare for him to come home and I’m not there, and him having days off without me being around all the time.

Being very aware of this, my partner and I have discussed how we’re going to manage our timings, especially to enable him to have alone time, as mine is guaranteed.

Here are the three strategies we’re putting in place to protect our alone time:

I’m very sensitive to noise and when I need alone time, I don’t enjoy having people around me talking or having noises nearby. Acknowledging this, we agreed that when this comes up, we’ll respect the other’s need for silence.

For me this is easy; I usually submerge myself in my writing bubble, or take time to read. It won’t be hard to offer my partner a peaceful and silent moment.

But for him, this will be a change, as he usually watches TV at a loud volume and he doesn't use…

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