I Made Bank At An NYC Titty Bar In The 90s

But I didn’t dance.

Call it exotic dancing, if you want, there was nothing exotic about working at a New York City topless bar. Well, maybe there was. To my naive, innocent, 28 year old, white born and bred, privileged, college educated, silver spoon fed self there was, I suppose. I came into my own during my two years working there, making, to date, the most money I’ve ever made working anywhere or doing anything.

Inside this upscale Gramercy Park area bar, protected by bouncers in tuxedos and run by what I’m sure was the mafia, it was just like any other adult nightclub. A greasy kitchen that happened to serve lobster, caviar, bananas foster, and champagne. Dimly lit round leather booths and floors covered in red velvet carpeting with plenty of mirrors. A DJ slamming sexy 90s anthems, beautiful women in tight, long, strapless gowns and too high heels, even your occasional famous person. And massage girls. That’s what I did.

It’s actually not at all what you’re picturing right now. It might actually be worse, though. The massage girls wore black thonged leotards over black fishnet stockings and black shoes. We provided our own lotion to give a two-song back and neck massage to the fully clothed gentlemen patrons sitting there watching the dancers. Two songs for $20. They could pay us in cash or in funny money — that’s titty bar talk for fake money they could buy with a credit card. We would turn that funny money in at the end of the night for cash minus $2 per 20.

You might be wondering how I ended up at such an establishment. Well, it was 1997. I had just moved into a one bedroom apartment on the Lower East side of Manhattan by myself to chase my acting dream. I sold my car before I moved down from Connecticut, where I grew up and had been living with my mother a few years after college. I had just enough money to keep me afloat for a couple months. So I needed a job.

I started asking every person I met in the city what they did for money. More specifically, I asked every fellow actor I met. In acting class or schmoozing after class at a diner or bar. Because an actor, back then in NYC, needed to be available to go to an audition at the drop of a hat and could not have a “real” job. We needed to work at night or as someone’s personal…

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