Legs

Until the five of us moved in, the Hunter public housing project was among America’s most dangerous. You know, lots of rape, pimps addicting girls, child abuse, domestic abuse, and yeah, murder, or at least attempted murder.

Yeah, the cops would come and sometimes arrest ’em and sometimes they’d go to jail. But it was hit and miss, slow, and they’d usually get back on the street, fast. And it did nothing to scare the bad guys. They knew they’d probably get away with whatever. And they had nothing to lose — It’s not like they were going to be brain surgeons.

But you see, the five of us were teammates in the Army’s Marksmanship Unit. Since 1964, our unit has won 24 Olympic medals including 16 golds. We trained the trainers.

And the Army taught me that sometimes only might makes right. Nicey-nicey talk works with people who don’t commit crimes but with criminals? The only thing that works with them is fear of getting busted up.

We didn’t want to kill anyone but we wanted every wise guy in Hunter to know that he or, yes, she, was going to get shot in the leg every time they pulled something.

And we did it. Everyone in Hunter knew to call us the second they thought there was a problem. And we were there fast, and using the quick judgment we developed in the Army, decided whether the right thing to do was to talk, yell, or shoot. Sure, we didn’t always get a leg but we never killed a single person. And the crime rate in Hunter dropped, a lot.

But then, a new resident decided she didn’t want “vigilante justice.” She called the cops and all five of us were arrested, convicted of assault with a deadly weapon, and sent to prison for seven years.

No surprise, the crime rate in Hunter went up.

But our lawyer appealed and got us out on a technicality.

I’m not sure what to do. If we start up again and some idiot calls the cops, this time, there won’t be no technicality. But if we don’t, there are going to be a lot more rapes, killings, sex trafficking, domestic violence, all that. We’re having a meeting tonight to discuss.

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